Compromising

Once upon a time, the United States had the largest and most prosperous middle class in the history of the world, but now that is changing at a blinding pace. This past week we have heard the word compromise used in trying to deal with Americas Debt ceiling. Why is compromise so difficult for so many of us?


Looking at what is taking place in America today with so many of the politicians not willing to do what seemly should be easy to do;( what is best for the majority of Americans). Too many of the politicians would not budge; playing a game at the expense of the poor and the middle class. What has developed is a situation where the people at the top are doing quite well, while most Americans are finding it increasingly difficult to make it. These politicians were asked to come together and to compromise.



Compromise is something we all face at one point in our lives, while the compromises we'll approach may not be as far-reaching as the one Washington has been facing, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be prepared.

We are told the word compromise means: a settlement in which each side gives up some demands or makes concessions an adjustment of opposing principles, systems, etc. by modifying some aspects of each.



If you have ever had to compromise or find difficulty in doing so we would like to share some ideas on how to go about making it less painful for you:

Invite a third party to attend having someone else in the room to monitor the conversation can avoid some of the traction an intimate conversation brings. A neutral person doesn't give a side an unnatural advantage or outnumber the other. Think of this person as a referee, someone to make sure everything goes smoothly. Encourage this person to give you his or her thoughts–it's always helpful to get a fresh perspective on a situation you're familiar with.



Listen to the other side's argument completely Just because you're there to present your views doesn't mean you can't listen to what the other side has to say. Perhaps they have another approach you weren't aware of, or they see a flaw in your plan that you didn't see.

First, Recognize their concern and points before listing yours so that first, it proves you're willing to listen and conduct this compromise in a civil manner, and second, that you aren't there to attack or discredit their argument. Show them the courtesy and respect of acknowledging their argument and they should respond in kind.



Don't go in expecting to win, unless you have specific data that proves that their solution will not work, do not walk in expecting to win. If you walk in to the meeting thinking you've already won, then why go?

There is a difference between confidence and arrogance, and the person or group can tell which attitude you have. If you do have this data, simply present it without malice–don't rub it in. Remember, you're not there to attack them.

Give every opportunity to show that you can conduct the conversation in a civil manner, and future conversations will go smoothly. Don't get defensive It's important that you take the emotion out of the meeting in order to stay impartial. Just because your position isn't as attractive as the other option does not mean you lost.

When presenting your position, honestly list out the pros and cons to your solution–think big picture. If you can't accept your way, flaws and all, your opposition won't either.

Set goals and a deadline for the meeting; The last thing anyone wants is to have something like this dragged out or delayed indefinitely. Set a timetable for this issue to be solved or "Plan B" goes into effect. It's reasonable to think that both parties would like to avoid Plan B, so as long as they are aware of when the negotiations stop taking place they can reach a solution before the deadline.

There's more than one path to a destination!

The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But... the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?" ~Martin Luther King, Jr