Many parents, including single parents, are raising well-adjusted, moral children who successfully enter adulthood. Why are these families successful when so many others are not? What do they do that others don't? More importantly, how can you successfully help your children in this often-perilous journey to adulthood?
In spite of all the negative trends, many parents, including single parents, are raising well-adjusted, moral children who successfully enter adulthood.
Why are these families successful when so many others are not? What do they do that others don't? More importantly, how can you successfully help your children grand-children and other children in this often-perilous journey to adulthood?
By Using God's way to discipline. Consider that God chastises Christians out of love for them.
Hebrews 12:5-11 says; "And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as children —'My child, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, or lose heart when you are punished by him; for the Lord disciplines those whom he loves, and chastises every child whom he accepts.
God is treating those who he chastises as children; for what child is there whom a parent does not discipline? "Parents disciplined us for a short time which seemed best to them, but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share his holiness.
Discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
The preceding passage from Hebrews quotes Proverbs 3: verses11&12, comparing God's correction of us as His children to human parents disciplining their children out of love and concern for them.
These verses teach us several vital principles regarding discipline. From them we learn the following:
(1) God disciplines in love.
(2) Discipline is not rejection but part of our maturing and growth.
(3) Discipline produces respect.
(4) Discipline produces good fruit and righteousness.
The Greek word for "discipline" in the passage in Hebrews includes the concepts of education and training, corrective guidance and corrective punishment.
Proper child rearing involves all of these elements of training and focuses on the long-term benefits to the child. Another biblical principle that parents should consider when evaluating methods of discipline is expressed by the apostle Paul.
Which He tells us; Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves" (Romans 13:1-2).
What about hurting Your Children’s feelings? Some parents are opposed to corrective discipline because it hurts their children's feelings. Yet this is what discipline is supposed to do. Hebrews 12:11 explains that there is a "painful" aspect to discipline.
The Bible tells us that children are wonderful gifts, truly blessings from God (Psalm 127:3). Yet they need guidance and instruction. They each need the special one-on-one care and teaching that only parents can give.
Bringing up children from helpless babes to responsible, moral adults is perhaps the greatest responsibility we can have in this life, and it can bring great rewards.
Yes it can and the blessing for doing so is twofold. First, children derive all the benefits from living in a godly home and being taught God's ways.
And Secondly, we parents become spiritually mature as we struggle with ourselves and the challenges of raising godly children in an ungodly world.
We should also discipline With Encouragement; this may seem like an oxymoron.
Jeannette Yes it does, how could discipline possibly be encouraging? Isn't it always painful and depressing?
The answer is no, discipline need not always be that way. Here's why:
Punishment and discipline are not synonyms, as many assume. Discipline is simply training that corrects, shapes or perfects one's moral character or mental faculties. While discipline includes punishment, punishment is only one of several disciplinary tools that parents may use in training their children.
So that means Further, discipline can include both encouraging and corrective elements.
Yes and here are some encouraging things parents can do to discipline their younger children:
Reminders for Children: Before an event, talk to your child about the behavior you expect. For example, say, "When we go to visit Mrs. Smith, I want you to say, 'Hi, Mrs. Smith. Thank you for inviting me to your home.'"
Affirmation for Children: After explaining the behavior you expect, have your child say, "Yes, Mom," or "Okay, Dad." Verbal affirmations help your child solidify in his or her mind the actions he or she will display.
Modeling: Have your child practice what he or she will say or do before the activity. Again, this helps prepare a child for the behavior expected.
Praise: We all appreciate praise when we do a good job. Our children generally also respond well to praise and are influenced to future obedience when they receive this kind of encouragement. Praise coupled with an affectionate pat or hug is also highly motivating to our children.
Reward skill development: Occasionally rewarding children when they have mastered a new skill promotes maturity. Be careful, however, not to get into the reward trap where every time a child behaves properly, he or she expects a reward. This can deteriorate into bribery. Remind them; Proper behavior is something we are all supposed to do all the time.
Being a wise and loving parent is a challenging responsibility that helps us prepare for being part of God's eternal family. May we and our children fulfill the wonderful destiny God has in store for each of us!
Sometimes corrective discipline will also be required to help children properly mature. Use of encouraging discipline as described above can lessen the need for correction and strengthen the relationship between a parent and child.
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